debor016

Externalizing a problem is a well known therapy technique. It fits well with my constant emphasis on exploring behaviors rather than trying to change them. The trick is to do this work when the child is in a good, calm place or as my co-worker Steve Brown would say, when the iron is cold. Work on these thngs with a light touch, and with a lot of emphasis on how the behavior has been a friend to the child, has helped them out. I am going to make a workbook for this out of these questions, and more I may think of: Exploring Me   My Name is: I am ___ years old.   Some of my favorite things are: Color: Music group: Activity: Food: Outfit: People: Smell: Book: Movie: School subject: Some things I can’t stand are: Some things that are gross are: Some things that scare me are: Some things that comfort me are: I can’t wait until….             What I want for my future: J ob: Live: Relationships: Enjoy: Learn: Be sure to do: Howev...

Here are some basic questions to use as guidelines when trying to respond to problem behaviors in a child or youth:   •          What has happened to him? •          What has he learned about other people? •          What biological changes has he experienced? •          What skills has he learned to survive? •          What skills does he need to learn?    When supporting parents or treaters in understanding behavior and responding to crisis: •          Ask how we understand the behavior using our formulation •          Relate to experiences in the child’s past •          Look for patterns •          Look for proble...

Terri is one of those kids who seems empty. She does not have an internal solid self that is continuous between moments. If she is with Sonia, she develops an accent. If she is with Janaia, she likes hip hop music; if she is with Courtney she likes Justin Beiber. She tells swears at her team mate Vanessa and tells her that she hates her one moment, and the next she says she loves Vanessa and wants a hug. She is at the mercy of her emotions. A small disappointment occurs and the feelings sweep over her, getting bigger and more extreme by the moment. She has no ability to modulate her feelings, instead the tide rises and swells until, suddenly, it breaks and Terri is completely fine. She has goals- in fact many, contradictory goals- but she has absolutely no ability to hang onto them or use them in the face of any obstacles.  Terri has had many people in and out of her life and many changing circumstances. Her mother has been her one constant, and her mother has gone through a lot of...