Understanding a Child

Here are some basic questions to use as guidelines when trying to respond to problem behaviors in a child or youth: 

•         What has happened to him?

•         What has he learned about other people?

•         What biological changes has he experienced?

•         What skills has he learned to survive?

•         What skills does he need to learn?  

When supporting parents or treaters in understanding behavior and responding to crisis:

•         Ask how we understand the behavior using our formulation

•         Relate to experiences in the child’s past

•         Look for patterns

•         Look for problem child is solving

•         Consider fear and confusion

•         Consider feeling overwhelmed

How can we help the child solve his problems in more positive ways?  

In responding to a crisis:

•         Validate both adult and child

•         If possible connect the child’s behavior to behaviors the adult has experienced in  their own life

•         Look for ways to make amends and reconnect