My Feelings Monster

Externalizing a problem is a well known therapy technique. It fits well with my constant emphasis on exploring behaviors rather than trying to change them. The trick is to do this work when the child is in a good, calm place or as my co-worker Steve Brown would say, when the iron is cold. Work on these thngs with a light touch, and with a lot of emphasis on how the behavior has been a friend to the child, has helped them out.

I am going to make a workbook for this out of these questions, and more I may think of:

Exploring Me 

My Name is:

I am ___ years old. 

Some of my favorite things are:
Color:
Music group:
Activity:
Food:
Outfit:
People:
Smell:
Book:
Movie:
School subject:

Some things I can’t stand are:
Some things that are gross are:
Some things that scare me are:
Some things that comfort me are:

I can’t wait until….           

What I want for my future:
Job:
Live:
Relationships:
Enjoy:
Learn:
Be sure to do:

However I have this problem that is getting between me and what I want.  The problem is:

I call it:

Here is a picture of it:

 

I am going to learn more about ___________

__________ has been my friend in the past. Here are some ways ________ has helped me:

However recently ________ has gotten a little too big and is getting in the way of what I want. So I plan to study him, learn all about him, and make friends with him again. That way I can use the best part of him, but he won’t get in my way.

The times ________ is strongest are:
The times he takes a nap and leaves me alone are:
The times I am glad he is there are:
The times I wish he would go away are:

 Here’s what I can do that feed _____ ‘s energy:
Here’s what I can do that makes him a little easier to get along with:

I am going to make some charts about me and _____.

I think I will start by rating how much energy he had this week. I’ll call 1 when he was sleeping or being cooperative. I’ll call 5 when he really took over my life and was bossing me around. I’ll make a note about anything I notice. 

	Monday	Tuesday	Wed	Thursday	Friday	Saturday	Sunday
Morning
Afternoon
Notes

 Then I think I will track ways that _______ helped me.

	Monday	Tuesday	Wed	Thursday	Friday	Saturday	Sunday
Morning
Afternoon
Notes

 Now I’m going to track things I did that bad him quieter and friendlier or louder and madder.   I’ll put an up arrow   when I make him madder and a down arrow   when I help him relax.

	Monday	Tuesday	Wed	Thursday	Friday	Saturday	Sunday
Morning
Afternoon
Notes

 Other things I have learned about ________.

You know if I am kind to ____ he is kinder to me.  Now he is some times helping me get what I want instead of getting in my way so much.

So what do you think? Can you think of anything else I should add? Click on "comment" and let me know.